Sharing a Bed
Last updated: December 2020
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If you share a bed with a snorer, a hogger or a wriggler then chances are you’re not sleeping as well as you could.
Fifty per cent of sleep disturbance is caused by sharing a bed and with many of us struggling to get the recommended seven to eight hours of sleep per night, having a bed mate makes getting that quality shut-eye even more difficult.
To some, sleeping apart implies that there is trouble in paradise. But in reality, if your sleep habits don’t synchronise then it’s much better, for your relationship and your health, to sleep apart.
For most couples who sleep apart, it’s a practical decision and you can still have all those intimate moments of sharing a bed when you fancy it, before departing to your very own space to sleep!
There are pros to sleeping in the same bed. Some evidence shows that couples who sleep together not only stay together but stay healthier too. Sharing a bed is the ultimate intimacy and research suggests that this intimacy helps to lower stress hormones and encourage feelings of safety and security.
If you do like sharing a bed but are struggling to sleep, there are some helpful solutions to having a successful night together in bed:
Size really does matter
Buy a bigger bed. Did you know that a double bed only gives you and your partner the same space to sleep in as a cot? With the average person tossing and turning up to 60 times a night you’re bound to be disturbed by a restless sleeper. Not only is it an investment in your sleep, it’s an investment for your relationship.
More duvet
Make sure you’ve got enough duvet to go around! Duvet hogging is a common grumble amongst those sharing a bed so separate single duvets can work wonders.
Separate duvets can also work for those who have different temperature requirements. As a comfortable temperature (between 18 and 24 degrees centigrade) is essential to a good night’s sleep, individual duvets with a tog rating suited to each partner will put an end to heated debates of the ‘too warm, too cold’ nature.
Take snoring seriously
It’s really very annoying especially if it’s a regular occurrence and one of the main factors in why couples sleep separately. See a GP for advice if you have a snoring problem.
Turn off gadgets before bed – they’re a turn off for your partner too!
No one wants to snuggle up to bed with a partner who’s focused on their phone. Not only is it a turn off but the blue light that emits from mobiles, iPads etc can unconsciously play havoc with your body’s circadian rhythms and wake you up at inopportune times. Try having a bedtime routine that works for you both – and involves quality time together.
Go to bed at the same time
Try going to bed at the same time together at least three nights a week. Different body clocks mean many couples tuck up at different times – alarm bells should sound when that starts to happen every night of the week.